it's exactly 12 o'clock at night now. what am i doing here? it should be time for bed. but y am i still awake?
............... nothing bad. don't worry. i'm not thinking too much like the rainy day. today's weather was really nice. i loved it, though it was a bit hot. however, the wind made it better. n i've just come back from NishiTachigawa where i so much enjoyed Hanabi Taikai (Grand firework event). there were lots of people---too many people that i was shocked at first n panic when i thought of how to return home by the train. but it was ok. the firework show was wonderful. it lasted for one hour. n i could see firework of different kinds n colors. it was really great n unforgettable. thanks to TOFSIA students (it's a club at TUFS whose members help facilitate foreign students' life at TUFS) who made the arrangements for us, foreigners, n took us there. they r really nice people.
today was a great long day for me. in the morning i was in the Open Campus event at TUFS. n i was allowed to help with some work in the Cambodian Language Department(カンボジア語科). it was nice that a lot of people came to ask something about Cambodia n Khmer language. i'm really thankful for their interest in this small country of mine. here i have one interesting thing to tell u, but at the same time it's also a bit sad for us Cambodians.
there was one middle aged man coming to ask my Japanese friends n me while we were holding posters for Cambodian Language Department. it seemed that he also knew sth about Cambodia, but everything he knew was so bad. many thanks to him that he had some interest in our country, but he made me a bit sad, though i laughed at what he said.
he asked if Cambodia is now safe, whether land mines are still dangerous to everyday life of everyone, n so on. n the MOST INTERESTING n SADDEST thing of all was this question 「アンコールワットは人が入れるぐらいの大きさですか？」 i'm not sure of the exact words he asked but it should be sth like this. if we r to say it in English, it may mean "Is Angkor Wat temple big enough for men to go inside?".
This question amused me at first n shocked me a bit later n disappoints me now. i've always thought that lots of people in the world do not have any idea of where n how Cambodia is like, n that if they do know, they may know about Angkor Wat temple more than Cambodia, because it's become one of the world's heritages. but what he said really did open my eyes. what i have been thinking was not at all right. this man didn't even know that Angkor Wat is big. To him, Angkor Wat may appear like a mere small, insignificant, nothing splendid, made-of-stone temple. n this made me really sad. we've got a diamond, a very precious diamond, which is worth people's admiration. but we cannot make our diamond appear like a precious gem stone. instead, our diamond still appears like a normal stone which people do not want to have a look at. what should we do? should we let it go at that? i do want the world to change their image of our country, but i alone cannot do anything. this makes me even sadder.
i sometimes doubt people's thinking. lots of developed countries nowadays have done far worse things than Cambodia did in terms of killing lives. but y don't people have any bad image or impression for those countries? is it because they r now rich n powerful that's y people just admire their bad deeds? look back at world war one n two. lots of lives were killed. wasn't that cruel? do people now have bad images for those BIG countries going to the wars? people may say NO. but what about Cambodian case? y do people still have such image for us? y pol pot has been so infamous? is killing ones' own people worse that killing other countries' people? until when will people carry on this image for Cambodia? Cambodia is now safe n peaceful to live in, but the outsiders still think it's not a proper place to go for holidays. too sad.
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Friday, July 24, 2009
My old habit. It may help me overcome boring times.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
oh the RAIN, what have u done to me?
Never did I think that I would think and feel this much before I came here. I don't know if I'm crazy or loneliness has made me so. Of course, saying so doesn't mean I don't have friends. For sure, I do have friends, lots of good friends. However, they can help give me some company only for a while, a very short while. Then we always part. It's that very moment that sth dark fills my heart. It's the feeling you don't want to experience. And I do wish you don't have that. I guess, I'm kind of weak in this way. I know I really need people's company and I don't wanna be alone.
Nearly 4 months has passed after I came here. Sometimes I feel it's too fast to recognize, especially the happy time. But the lonely time often seems it will never have an end. During this time, I have thought a lot about things one should never spend their busy time thinking, about things not important and appropriate for those leading a busy life. One day not long ago I turned out to think about the RAIN which most people usually take for granted. And I even wrote it as an essay for my Japanese class homework.
Back at home, the rain to me was a different thing from the rain here. Who should care what differences it bares? You may say it's all the same, it's just the water of large amount falling from the sky. But I may have a different view, or I may look at it from a different dimension.
From the surface, anyone can tell it's the same. But the difference is with the time, the duration, and the amount of the rain. Hearing this, some people may say "Stupid. It's typical that it's different, because Cambodia and Japan are not on the same spots of the world." For sure it is so. and that mere difference isn't what I'm talking about here. What I'm trying to say is about what the rain does to the heart.
Back at home, the rain was really positive to me. It was the time I usually stayed in, esp. if it fell on holidays. It was when I enjoyed the time with my family. But here if it does fall on holidays, it will do me badly. I remember an old song titled "listen to the rhythm of the falling rain", and it made me think about those sad people, lonely people, and broken-hearted people. They may have this kind of feeling like I do when listening to the rain. Of course, if you are with your beloved ones, no matter who they are, when it's raining, it's a very lovely time. Sometimes you may even want the moment to stand still. It's then that you can feel the warmth from the inside while it's cold outside. But when you are alone feeling lonely, the rain just only adds more coldness from the outside to your cold heart.
It may sound crazy if you read on. But I think I learned sth from this. I learned the importance of family to the emotions. Maybe I am a homeboy that's why I am too overwhelmed by this kind of feeling. But I think this is true. There are lots of children who lack the warmth from their family, who can never feel the warmth from the inside while it's cold outside. And I do pity them for that.
After all, the rain is not merely water from the sky. It's sth that gives you more coldness or makes you experience true warmth. One may never know the difference when they are with their beloved ones. And they may take it for granted, and not treasure the moment with whom they love. Only when they part from those people do they realize that "Oh! It's COLD here! I hate this RAIN!".
Nearly 4 months has passed after I came here. Sometimes I feel it's too fast to recognize, especially the happy time. But the lonely time often seems it will never have an end. During this time, I have thought a lot about things one should never spend their busy time thinking, about things not important and appropriate for those leading a busy life. One day not long ago I turned out to think about the RAIN which most people usually take for granted. And I even wrote it as an essay for my Japanese class homework.
Back at home, the rain to me was a different thing from the rain here. Who should care what differences it bares? You may say it's all the same, it's just the water of large amount falling from the sky. But I may have a different view, or I may look at it from a different dimension.
From the surface, anyone can tell it's the same. But the difference is with the time, the duration, and the amount of the rain. Hearing this, some people may say "Stupid. It's typical that it's different, because Cambodia and Japan are not on the same spots of the world." For sure it is so. and that mere difference isn't what I'm talking about here. What I'm trying to say is about what the rain does to the heart.
Back at home, the rain was really positive to me. It was the time I usually stayed in, esp. if it fell on holidays. It was when I enjoyed the time with my family. But here if it does fall on holidays, it will do me badly. I remember an old song titled "listen to the rhythm of the falling rain", and it made me think about those sad people, lonely people, and broken-hearted people. They may have this kind of feeling like I do when listening to the rain. Of course, if you are with your beloved ones, no matter who they are, when it's raining, it's a very lovely time. Sometimes you may even want the moment to stand still. It's then that you can feel the warmth from the inside while it's cold outside. But when you are alone feeling lonely, the rain just only adds more coldness from the outside to your cold heart.
It may sound crazy if you read on. But I think I learned sth from this. I learned the importance of family to the emotions. Maybe I am a homeboy that's why I am too overwhelmed by this kind of feeling. But I think this is true. There are lots of children who lack the warmth from their family, who can never feel the warmth from the inside while it's cold outside. And I do pity them for that.
After all, the rain is not merely water from the sky. It's sth that gives you more coldness or makes you experience true warmth. One may never know the difference when they are with their beloved ones. And they may take it for granted, and not treasure the moment with whom they love. Only when they part from those people do they realize that "Oh! It's COLD here! I hate this RAIN!".
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Spoon Bending
i found it really interesting when i saw a video clip showed at an art exhibition. it was a clip showing some cute innocent young children in Arab bending spoons without physical strength. i asked the person in charge if it was true. n he said it was, n that everyone even small children could do it. i couldn't find the clip on youtube, but i found this clip. it's really unbelievable, n i do wanna know the reason behind it.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
You'll Always Be My Baby
i was too touched by the meaning of this song. for sure, you can find nothing in this world that is so sincere n true like our mother n father's love for us. i sometimes ask myself. "what have i done in return?"
A song by Sara Evans
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1qizn_sarah-evans-youll-always-be-my-baby_music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDim9gD_pVA&feature=related
There I was ten years old
waitin' in my room for him to come home
and I just knew he'd be so mad
though I begged my mother not to, she told my dad.
There was no denyin' I let him down
but instead of being angry
he put his arms around me and said
in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way
whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you'll always be my baby.
There I was twenty-one
oh I was so ashamed of what I'd done
on a country road
parked one night
what started out so innocent
crossed the line
there was no denyin'
I let God down
but instead of being angry
he let his love surround me and I heard
in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way
whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone
my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you'll always be my baby yeah yeah.
There he is my little man
I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then
and I pray to God that when he does
I'll be just as understanding
as my father was 'cause the last thing that I want to do is let him down
so instead of being angry
I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say
in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way yeah whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone
my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you'll always be my baby
be my baby
A song by Sara Evans
YOU'LL ALWAYS BE MY BABY
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1qizn_sarah-evans-youll-always-be-my-baby_music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDim9gD_pVA&feature=related
There I was ten years old
waitin' in my room for him to come home
and I just knew he'd be so mad
though I begged my mother not to, she told my dad.
There was no denyin' I let him down
but instead of being angry
he put his arms around me and said
in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way
whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you'll always be my baby.
There I was twenty-one
oh I was so ashamed of what I'd done
on a country road
parked one night
what started out so innocent
crossed the line
there was no denyin'
I let God down
but instead of being angry
he let his love surround me and I heard
in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way
whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone
my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you'll always be my baby yeah yeah.
There he is my little man
I'm sure he'll get in trouble every now and then
and I pray to God that when he does
I'll be just as understanding
as my father was 'cause the last thing that I want to do is let him down
so instead of being angry
I'm gonna throw my arms around him and I'll say
in the sunlight or the rain brightest nights or darkest days
I'll always feel the same way yeah whatever road you may be on
know you're never too far gone
my love is there wherever you may be
just remember that you'll always be my baby
be my baby
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