oh the RAIN, what have u done to me?

Never did I think that I would think and feel this much before I came here. I don't know if I'm crazy or loneliness has made me so. Of course, saying so doesn't mean I don't have friends. For sure, I do have friends, lots of good friends. However, they can help give me some company only for a while, a very short while. Then we always part. It's that very moment that sth dark fills my heart. It's the feeling you don't want to experience. And I do wish you don't have that. I guess, I'm kind of weak in this way. I know I really need people's company and I don't wanna be alone.

Nearly 4 months has passed after I came here. Sometimes I feel it's too fast to recognize, especially the happy time. But the lonely time often seems it will never have an end. During this time, I have thought a lot about things one should never spend their busy time thinking, about things not important and appropriate for those leading a busy life. One day not long ago I turned out to think about the RAIN which most people usually take for granted. And I even wrote it as an essay for my Japanese class homework.

Back at home, the rain to me was a different thing from the rain here. Who should care what differences it bares? You may say it's all the same, it's just the water of large amount falling from the sky. But I may have a different view, or I may look at it from a different dimension.

From the surface, anyone can tell it's the same. But the difference is with the time, the duration, and the amount of the rain. Hearing this, some people may say "Stupid. It's typical that it's different, because Cambodia and Japan are not on the same spots of the world." For sure it is so. and that mere difference isn't what I'm talking about here. What I'm trying to say is about what the rain does to the heart.

Back at home, the rain was really positive to me. It was the time I usually stayed in, esp. if it fell on holidays. It was when I enjoyed the time with my family. But here if it does fall on holidays, it will do me badly. I remember an old song titled "listen to the rhythm of the falling rain", and it made me think about those sad people, lonely people, and broken-hearted people. They may have this kind of feeling like I do when listening to the rain. Of course, if you are with your beloved ones, no matter who they are, when it's raining, it's a very lovely time. Sometimes you may even want the moment to stand still. It's then that you can feel the warmth from the inside while it's cold outside. But when you are alone feeling lonely, the rain just only adds more coldness from the outside to your cold heart.

It may sound crazy if you read on. But I think I learned sth from this. I learned the importance of family to the emotions. Maybe I am a homeboy that's why I am too overwhelmed by this kind of feeling. But I think this is true. There are lots of children who lack the warmth from their family, who can never feel the warmth from the inside while it's cold outside. And I do pity them for that.

After all, the rain is not merely water from the sky. It's sth that gives you more coldness or makes you experience true warmth. One may never know the difference when they are with their beloved ones. And they may take it for granted, and not treasure the moment with whom they love. Only when they part from those people do they realize that "Oh! It's COLD here! I hate this RAIN!".